Twirling- Interesting? Possibly...

Sinking softly, beneath the waves,
She called and found no voice.
Kicking, crying, 'oh let me die',
We all must now rejoice.
Faerie Princess, let me be,
Hang on to me today.
One or two and three or four,
It was meant to be this way.

Some day soon, the world will see
All she could have been.
But now it is too late to know,
What they would have seen.
I will know this one last thing,
I alone must do.
Hold me now then let me go,
At last, this life is through.

Heaven crosses time and space,
Without a backwards glance.
Angels fly from me to her,
'May I have this dance?'
Her life looks glim, there's not much left,
I alone can tell.
A falling girl, crushed below.
Fallen into hell.

Its about suicide and yet it rhymes? I liked it, mainly because the juxtaposition of the da-da-da-da-da of rhymes and the talk of death put me in the mindframe of a Lily Allen song.

I kind of abhor rhyming poetry though, it has the element of the contrived to me. That's not to say I'm blanket hating on rhymes - it just really has to resonate with me.

Yeah, most people don't like my poems when they rhyme but I think rhyming is cool!

Meh.

Rhyming can be a useful tool but I really hate when rhymes get in the way of the message. This doesn't seem to.

I quite like this though I think the second stanza is the weakest and could do with a little more editing, it got a bit confusing, will the world know what they have lost or not?

You don't have to capitalise every line, MSword is lying to you. <3

The rhyme scheme didn't even state itself clearly enough to actually form rhythmic context to me anyway... and as for subject matter... eeeh...

It's not meant to make sense lol it's partially nonsense.

I <3 nonsense poems. I should post my other one. It has no subject and no plot and is just words on a page! But I think it's cool XD lol

Hannah-Rose wrote:

You don't have to capitalise every line, MSword is lying to you. <3

Lol I know, I hate zem.

TimTam wrote:

Rhyming can be a useful tool but I really hate when rhymes get in the way of the message. This doesn't seem to.

I quite like this though I think the second stanza is the weakest and could do with a little more editing, it got a bit confusing, will the world know what they have lost or not?

All my poems come out in rhyme, I don't know why! Lol. Maybe I should write songs instead, haha. Actually, I've had people ask if they can turn my poems into songs before...

Ugh, I hate the second stanza but I don't know how to fix it.

CHATBOX

*prod*
You left.

*wails*
Why does everyone always leeeave?

I'm not getting this whole chatbox thing

It's reeeeeally annoying. Stupid thing doesn't alert you as to when there's been a message, nor does it auto scroll.

I'm going to try and get an upgraded version.
When I have time. (read: when I can be arsed)

I'm still confused. Is there a chatbox people are telling other people to go to?

There's a link at the bottom of the main page, where it tells you who is logged in etc.

A nursery rhyme of death. It flows so easily.