The Nutshell
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The Nutshell

The Nutshell is a creative collective under the government of Holly-Rose and Hannah-Rose with ODD and SPONTANEOUS tamperings by Logie-Bear; made up of writers, musicians, and artists. Here teacups are rife and insanity is always technicoloured.
 
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 Age 8

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Logiebear
Beloved Squirrel
Moderator
Beloved SquirrelModerator
Logiebear


Number of posts : 1224
Age : 32
Location : Cloud Cuckoo Land
Reputation :
Age 8 Left_bar_bleue23 / 10023 / 100Age 8 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-04-11

Age 8 Empty
PostSubject: Age 8   Age 8 Icon_minitimeFri 31 Oct 2008 - 10:26

Thro' eider-down trees and duvet rivers
Age 8 dances and shivers,
"sleepover" - syllables of excitement

Age 8 emerges from a forest of dreams
no stoked pretend-fire,
no pillow logs and marshmallow sticks,
No.
Sister 10 has a new game.

A word never heard before,
short and simple and blunt.
Forbidden revealing now uncovered
a difference rediscovered;
experimentation begins.

Age 8 frowns uncertainly.
such a game would be known to many
but this is a secret
between age 8 and sister 10.

Age 9 is itchy.
a tickley itch creeps over him.
he cannot sit still.
His brain is excited,
his body unready.

Age 10 tries to explain.
his words fall on deaf ears,
covered by punishing hands.
These are not lies that plague his soul,
but no one will listen to these.

Innocence is replaced by rage
a 'volcano in my tummy'.
Treated different,
not treated.

The 'volcano' erupts.
Rage pours from pores and knocks over tables,
chairs,
computers.
debris hits another boy.

'Dangerous' age 10,
sitting in a corner.
no understanding,
no relief.
Bottling.

Sister 10 is carefree
but Age 8 will always remember.


Last edited by Logiebear on Fri 31 Oct 2008 - 12:04; edited 1 time in total
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wretchedkisses
Apprentice Squirrel



Number of posts : 320
Age : 34
Location : Wellywood
Reputation :
Age 8 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Age 8 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-09-04

Age 8 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Age 8   Age 8 Icon_minitimeFri 31 Oct 2008 - 11:59

This is satisfyingly challenging and at points, disturbing. For full impact, check typos - "Rage pours form" I think it should be from and also capitalise all the Ages.
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Logiebear
Beloved Squirrel
Moderator
Beloved SquirrelModerator
Logiebear


Number of posts : 1224
Age : 32
Location : Cloud Cuckoo Land
Reputation :
Age 8 Left_bar_bleue23 / 10023 / 100Age 8 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-04-11

Age 8 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Age 8   Age 8 Icon_minitimeFri 31 Oct 2008 - 12:04

thanking you
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TimTam
Tarnation
In a TeaCup
TimTam


Number of posts : 868
Age : 33
Location : physical or mental?
Reputation :
Age 8 Left_bar_bleue2 / 1002 / 100Age 8 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-03-02

Age 8 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Age 8   Age 8 Icon_minitimeSat 1 Nov 2008 - 0:53

omg, it starts so sweet and childlike and changes so quickly, made me omg.

It's good, if perhaps a fraction too vague at some points, I think I got the idea but I got confused by some of the different Ages, are they all the same boy?
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Logiebear
Beloved Squirrel
Moderator
Beloved SquirrelModerator
Logiebear


Number of posts : 1224
Age : 32
Location : Cloud Cuckoo Land
Reputation :
Age 8 Left_bar_bleue23 / 10023 / 100Age 8 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-04-11

Age 8 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Age 8   Age 8 Icon_minitimeSat 1 Nov 2008 - 3:48

Yeah it's meant to be
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Age 8 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Age 8   Age 8 Icon_minitime

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