The Light

New song, not finished as such, but here's what we have so far...

The light that is but isn’t quite
glances off the surface of the sea;
ambiguous and beautiful
do you see, that’s what you are to me?

Standing on the edge
of my orchestrated mind
and pluck a certain string.
It’s the one that fills up all your thoughts
when you listen to the levels in the ring.

--

Next come's an extended Katherine Mansfield quote (from Bliss, of course)
"As though you'd suddenly swallowed a bright piece of afternoon sun and it burned in your breast sending a little shower of sparks into every particle into every finger and toe."

Which is repeated multiple times with Building Harmony Layers of Doom. Of course, generalised crits are loved and appreciated, but what I really want to know about it the second line. Originally I had "glances off the corner of the sea" which I felt evoked a delightfully surreal landscape over which to layer the continuing thought process. However, "surface of the sea" has sibilance, which is always delightful... any thoughts?

O gosh, Bliss, can I never escape? I swear I spent 5 weeks studying that story alone till I could quote the first page and a half plus various other scenes. I can't count how many essays I wrote on pear trees! (it was my fall back topic). The whole story just reminds me of how very enthusiastic Hendry was when it came to hinting (or blatantly describing) sexual references that may or may not have been there.

Otherwise the song intrigues me though I prefer to hear a song before I try and pass any kind of judgement.

Hinting? Christ almighty... Nasmyth didn't even bother to mention it, until Marianne in class one day was all "um... so... I found this essay on the internet..." and the Naz was just like "Of course she is! I thought you girls realised that already! I mean, it's not exactly subtle..."

Also, did you see any of that Lost in Austen thing? Because phrase of the day is most certainly "to steer the punt from the Cambridge end". <3

It's wonderful.

You do realise a quote by Mansfield, but particularly this exquisite quote gives you instant 1530948394839 songwriting brownie points.

I quite like 'curve' of the sea.
Edge is rather cliche. Veneer?

Corner... It could very well work.

The long vowel sounds of the 'u' in surface along with the sibilance is fitting, though, there may be another word.