New song, not finished as such, but here's what we have so far...
The light that is but isn’t quite
glances off the surface of the sea;
ambiguous and beautiful
do you see, that’s what you are to me?
Standing on the edge
of my orchestrated mind
and pluck a certain string.
It’s the one that fills up all your thoughts
when you listen to the levels in the ring.
--
Next come's an extended Katherine Mansfield quote (from Bliss, of course)
"As though you'd suddenly swallowed a bright piece of afternoon sun and it burned in your breast sending a little shower of sparks into every particle into every finger and toe."
Which is repeated multiple times with Building Harmony Layers of Doom. Of course, generalised crits are loved and appreciated, but what I really want to know about it the second line. Originally I had "glances off the corner of the sea" which I felt evoked a delightfully surreal landscape over which to layer the continuing thought process. However, "surface of the sea" has sibilance, which is always delightful... any thoughts?